Play-Based Childhood

A collection of resources for parents and educators

"The Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt

Published on: Tue Apr 22 2025


Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, explores why today’s kids and teens are more anxious than ever. Using stories and research, Haidt explains how changes in childhood, technology, and parenting have shaped this new reality. Here are seven key insights from his book, along with tips for families and schools.


1. The Rise of the Phone-Based Childhood

Childhood looks very different today. Haidt says that smartphones have changed the way kids grow up.

  • From Play to Phones: In the past, most kids spent their free time playing outside, making up games, and hanging out with friends. Now, many spend hours each day on their phones—often alone and indoors.
  • Impact on Social Skills: When kids use phones a lot, they have fewer chances to practice talking, making friends, or solving problems face-to-face. This can make it harder to build strong relationships.
  • What Parents Can Do: Encourage your child to play offline. Board games, trips to the park, or simply spending time with friends in person can help kids grow socially.

2. The Surge in Youth Anxiety and Depression

Since the early 2010s, more teens are feeling anxious and depressed.

  • Mental Health on the Decline: Rates of depression in U.S. teens have nearly doubled in the last decade. Hospital visits for self-harm have also gone up, especially for younger teens.
  • Screen Time and Social Media: Haidt and other experts believe that too much time online is a major cause. Teens often compare themselves to others on social media, which can make them feel lonely or not good enough.
  • Girls Are More Affected: Anxiety and depression have risen more sharply for girls. Social media can be especially tough for girls, who may care more about likes and online approval.
  • How to Help: Parents and teachers can support kids by setting screen-free times, encouraging open talks about feelings, and teaching healthy ways to manage stress.

3. The Diminishing Role of Free Play

Free play—when kids play on their own without adults directing everything—is disappearing.

  • Why Free Play Matters: When children play outside with friends, they learn to solve problems, take safe risks, and become more independent.
  • Too Many Activities, Too Many Screens: Today, schedules are packed with adult-led sports, lessons, and lots of screen time. There’s less room for kids to use their imagination or just hang out.
  • Missing Social Growth: Without free play, kids may struggle to read emotions, handle arguments, or make strong friendships. Haidt warns this can make real-life challenges feel scarier later on.
  • Encourage Free Play: Make time for unstructured play, like games in the yard or at the park. Let kids have safe adventures and learn from each other.

4. Social Media’s Double-Edged Sword

Social media can be fun, but it also has downsides.

  • Designed to Be Addictive: Apps use endless scrolling and notifications to keep kids online for hours.
  • Cyberbullying and Comparison: Teens may face mean comments, bullying, or feel “less than” others when scrolling through highlight reels of other people’s lives.
  • Chasing Likes and Approval: Worrying about likes and comments can make kids feel pressured to look perfect all the time.
  • Always “On Display”: Knowing that anyone can see or judge their posts adds stress and makes it hard to relax.

5. Parental Influence and Overprotection

How parents raise their children matters, too.

  • Too Much Protection Causes Worry: When parents try to shield kids from every problem, kids may start to think the world is scary and unsafe. This “helicopter parenting” can actually make children more anxious.
  • Letting Kids Take Risks: Allowing children to make choices, solve their own problems, and even make mistakes, helps them become confident and strong.
  • Balancing Safety and Freedom: It’s important to keep kids safe, but also to let them try things on their own. Give them small freedoms, like walking to school or handling simple challenges.

6. Educational Shifts and Academic Pressure

School has changed, too, adding more stress.

  • More Homework, Less Free Time: Students today face more homework and test prep, leaving less time to relax or have fun.
  • Always Connected: With tablets and online assignments, kids are rarely away from schoolwork. Digital deadlines and notifications can feel overwhelming.
  • Pressure to Be Perfect: Many kids think they must get top grades and join lots of activities to be successful. This focus on “being the best” can make them feel anxious and afraid to fail.

7. Pathways to a Healthier Generation

Haidt gives practical advice for making things better.

  • Unplug Together: Families can set device-free times, like during meals or before bed, to spend time talking and connecting.
  • Delay Smartphones and Social Media: Haidt suggests waiting until at least age 16 before giving kids full access to smartphones and social media. Early use can increase anxiety and stress.
  • Encourage Real Friendships and Play: Help kids spend time with friends in person. Support unstructured play and group activities to build social and emotional skills.
  • Involve Schools and Communities: Schools and community groups can offer more after-school programs, safe spaces, and chances for kids to relax and be themselves.

By understanding these insights from The Anxious Generation, families, schools, and communities can help today’s children grow up happier and more confident—even in a world filled with screens.