Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields

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Raising kids isn’t easy, but Hunter Clarke-Fields’ book, Raising Good Humans, offers simple and powerful ways to be a better parent. This book shows how being mindful and kind can make a big difference in your relationship with your child. Here are seven lessons from the book to help you raise confident, caring kids.

1. Practice Mindful Parenting

Mindful parenting means paying attention to the present moment with kindness and without judgment. Instead of reacting quickly when your child misbehaves, stop and take a deep breath. This pause helps you choose a calm, thoughtful response instead of yelling or getting angry. When you model calm behavior, your child learns to manage their own emotions too. Mindful parenting helps you feel more connected to your child and creates a peaceful home.

2. Break Generational Patterns

Many parents repeat the same habits they learned from their own parents, even if those habits aren’t helpful. “Raising Good Humans” encourages you to notice these patterns, like yelling or punishing without explaining. When you catch yourself reacting automatically, pause and choose a different, kinder approach. Try listening to your child’s feelings and explaining your expectations. This helps you create healthier ways to handle tough moments and teaches your child better ways to solve problems.

3. Cultivate Compassion—for Yourself and Your Child

Parenting is hard, and everyone makes mistakes. Instead of being too hard on yourself, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Be kind when things don’t go as planned. Also, remember to show empathy to your child when they have big emotions. Say things like, “I see you’re frustrated—it’s okay to feel that way.” Create a home where it’s safe to make mistakes and learn from them. This helps your child (and you) grow and feel supported.

4. Embrace Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of talking and listening that helps everyone feel heard and respected. Instead of blaming or criticizing, share how you feel and what you need. For example, say, “I feel upset when I’m not heard. Can we talk about this together?” Listen carefully to your child, make eye contact, and repeat back what they say. This builds trust and helps your child feel valued.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries with Kindness

Boundaries are clear rules that keep everyone safe and respectful. They are different from punishments, which are meant to make kids feel bad. When you set boundaries, use a calm voice and simple words. For example, say, “We use gentle hands with our friends.” If your child forgets a rule, gently remind them and help them try again. Over time, this teaches kids to respect boundaries and make good choices.

6. Nurture Emotional Intelligence

Help your child recognize and name their feelings, like happy, sad, or angry. Ask questions such as, “Are you feeling frustrated right now?” Teach simple ways to handle big emotions, like taking deep breaths or counting to ten. Talk about feelings often, and let your child know all emotions are okay. Listening without judging helps your child feel safe to share what’s on their mind.

7. Prioritize Connection Over Perfection

You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Let go of guilt and focus on building a strong, loving relationship with your child. Spend time talking, listening, and showing you care, even when things get messy. Celebrate small wins, like a calm bedtime or a shared laugh. Remember, being “good enough” is truly enough, and your connection with your child matters most.

By following these lessons from Raising Good Humans, you can build a more peaceful, loving home and help your child grow into a kind, confident person. Remember, change takes time, so be gentle with yourself along the way!